Do's, Don'ts and Advice for Finding Your Life Mate Internationally

How A Matchmaker Can Combat Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.)

Seasonal Affective Disorder and Depression affect many Americans A man suffering from depression and S.A.D.

With roughly 17% of Americans on some kind of antidepressant, people are certainly looking for an answer. One of the increasingly popular methods is known as “hope therapy.” This type of treatment involves focusing on the future and what can be achieved, rather than the present and problems.

Certainly, nothing focuses us more on the future than finding our mate, our future spouse. This is even more important when you consider that 46% of Americans report feeling lonely sometimes or always. If half of us are feeling lonely, a fifth of us are sad for a third of the year, and a sixth of us are on antidepressants then maybe the Beatles were right and all we really need is love. But how do you find it and what’s the best way to meet sincere people looking for it?

Bars only add alcohol to an already depressed situation and person. Dating apps aren’t exactly known for being the healthiest of pastimes and on an increasingly connected globe, what are the odds that your perfect partner is just waiting around in your town? International dating through a respected matchmaker has become the answer for many. Here’s why.

Psychology of Swiping

Nearly 100 million people use online dating around the world. The stigma that meeting someone online once carried has largely faded as relationships and the individuals who constitute them have become more nuanced. Unfortunately, not all online dating platforms are created equally, and there may be severe psychological consequences associated with certain apps and behaviors.

For instance, use of Tinder has been shown to correlate with lower self-esteem, decreased body satisfaction, and a feeling of being disposable in social interactions. Tech dependence is a problem across the spectrum, but the addition of addiction to online dating through technology only exacerbates these issues.

Rather than just being overstimulated by screen time, users can also easily become addicted to the attention and constant unnatural stimulation of their egos. According to one report, as many as 15% of users reported feeling like they were addicted to finding a date online.

If you are already depressed during this season and have low self-esteem, fixation on addictive mediums doesn’t contribute to your life. But if swiping isn’t the answer, are there other avenues to find what you are looking for?

Looking for Love Locally

Assuming, once again, that the goal is to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder, looking for love locally might not be a half-bad idea. Where to go and what to do to meet someone is the problem. One of the reasons Seasonal Affective Disorder is so insidious is that the lethargy of the cold gives the sufferer a valid excuse to stay home and stay warm. Depending on what city or town you are in, there also might not be a great many activities to partake of this time of year that would enable you to meet someone.

Night’s out bar-hopping might seem like a good idea, but the accompanying issues mirror many of the problems with swiping. Namely rejection, which can only exacerbate your seasonal or regular depression. In fact, research has shown that rejection stimulates the same part of the brain as physical pain. The gut punch you feel as she says no is actually equivalent to an actual gut punch, according to science. Alcohol is also an easy crutch to put your burdens on if you are feeling low, and that’s a whole other kind of addiction.

If you do happen to meet someone, then the anxiety begins. The only thing worse than being depressed is showing your depression to someone you just met and ruining something beautiful before it even begins. Paranoia about whether or not the person you met and like will notice your state can make you awkward and your date even more awkward.

Hope Therapy & A Matchmaker

Hope therapy focuses almost exclusively on the future, forward progress and facing what the world has to offer you. When deep in depression, seasonal or year-round, this is an extremely difficult task. If you don’t have a fixed point on which to focus, a light at the end of the tunnel, it’s nearly impossible. Hope is the potential on which we build our lives and it requires specific conditions to flourish, conditions that can be undermined very easily.

The reality is that if you are looking for hope and a mate, swiping and scouring nearby watering holes is very hit and miss and extremely local. People are more complex. Relationships are more complex. The likelihood of your perfect mate being next door, just waiting to chat you up, is exceedingly small.

There’s a big world full of potential partners. That alone should give you some hope. But how do you meet them, how do you talk to them, how do you get far enough in the relationship to reach a place where you can be hopeful?

Many men and women seeking love and looking to broaden their romantic horizons often find themselves turning to an international matchmaker. They are opening up their options to include individuals that they could have never even imagined meeting otherwise.

How would a beautiful school teacher in Bangkok meet a loving businessman from Baltimore? How would a caring carpenter in Chicago meet an elegant entrepreneur from Cebu? How would a polite professor from Paducah meet a playful nurse from Poltava? An effective international matchmaker can bring these people together through the power of technology and the resources of an experienced service provider.

The best, most respected, international matchmaker will have 25+ years of experience in bringing together couples just like these. Matchmaking, unlike other such activities, actually gives you a buffer between yourself and your prospective date.

Rather than being an endless slew of pickup lines and letdowns, a matchmaker can look at your profile and determine with whom you might be compatible and then help you connect with an eligible single. This can allow you to enjoy the positives of finding someone without the negatives often associated with the search.

You can also take the time to gradually know someone you’ve been matched with online, first. This takes a lot of the pressure out of initial encounters and allows the relationship to develop gradually and for you to find the silver linings hidden within the initial distance.

Hope and Vacations

A matchmaker providing singles tours may help. A man enjoying talking to an international woman.

Industry-leading matchmakers will also offer services like singles tours to actual locations where men and women from around the world can mingle. Enjoying a vacation to a sunny spot is great, but who wouldn’t want to enjoy it while dating internationally?

A singles tour could not only help you to meet new people but also get you out of the house and out of the cold dark days that have you down. Even a week spent traveling could change your entire perspective and might be the stepping-off point to a beautiful future. Also, one of the primary causes of S.A.D. is a lack of vitamin D, a major source of which is the sun. At tropical trip for love can quickly alter this deficiency.

So if the season has you steeped in self-pity and the dreariness of the short days leaves you crestfallen, an international matchmaker and singles tour might just provide the bit of hope you need.

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